Create the Marriage You Want in 2025: 8 Powerful Questions for Husbands

Introduction: The Power of Vision in Marriage

Have you ever wondered why some marriages thrive while other feel stuck year after year? The answer often lies in one thing, vision. Without a clear plan, how do you expect to build the marriage you and your wife truly want? What if I told you that answering just a few powerful questions could completely shift your relationship in 2025?

Today we're diving into exactly how to do that. Welcome to Better Husband, the podcast that helps you answer the question, how can I be a better husband? I'm Angelo Santiago, a men's marriage and relationship coach. And today we're talking about how to create a shared vision for your marriage in 2025.

Because if you don't, who will? By the end of this episode, you'll have four powerful questions to answer on your own, and if you're up for the challenge, four questions to answer with your wife. These questions will guide you in building the marriage you both desire and deserve. So stick around, you don't want to miss this one.

Personal Story: A Wake-Up Call in Belize

Let me tell you a story to kick things off. This summer, my wife Julie and I went on what we thought would be a dream vacation to Belize. Picture paradise. Beautiful beaches, crystal clear water, time away from work. But what we didn't expect was how much this trip would reveal about our marriage.

Amid all the beauty, we found ourselves fighting. Old frustrations bubbled up to the surface, things we didn't even realize had been bothering us in the day to day grind. But, it was a wake up call. But here's the thing, we leaned into those tough conversations instead of avoiding them. We started to ask each other, What do we want this marriage to look like?

What do we need? To feel fulfilled, to feel loved, and to feel connected. Those conversations changed everything. We didn't just patch things up. We created a new vision for our life together. And now, as we close out 2024, our marriage is in one of the best places it's ever been. That is the power of visioning.

And today, I want to help you do the same for your marriage in 2025.

Self-Reflection Questions for a Better Marriage

Now let's get into the questions that will help you start creating that vision. These are split into two categories, questions to answer on your own and questions to answer together with your wife.

But before I start, if you're driving or in the middle of something while listening, you can go to betterhusbandquestions. com to download a PDF with these questions and space for you to write down your answers. Here are the four questions I want you to reflect on and think about and then actually answer and write down what you think. Number one, what do I want my marriage to look and feel like in 2025? I want you to think about emotional connections, shared activities, communication, and intimacy. Imagine the ideal day in your relationship.

What does it look like? What does it feel like? Number two, what behaviors or habits do I need to stop, start, or improve to contribute to a stronger marriage? And here, I want you to be honest with yourself. Are you defensive, avoidant, or inconsistent? What could you do differently to show up better for your wife?

Number three, how can I be more intentional about showing love and appreciation to my wife? Consider maybe her love language. Is it quality time? Is it words of affirmation, acts of service, or something totally different? What makes her feel truly valued? And how can you give that to her? And then finally, number four, if I imagine my wife's ideal version of our marriage, what would it include?

And how can I align with her vision? Step into her shoes for a moment. What do you think she would say that she needs most from you? And how can you make that happen?

Now, after you've taken the time to answer those four questions honestly and deeply with real intention, I want you to challenge yourself here because there's an opportunity to not only do this on your own, but to come together with your wife and ask yourselves questions together so you can have a shared vision.

This is where the magic really happens, especially if you're struggling to answer that fourth question about your wife's needs. She can tell you.

Collaborative Questions for Couples

So these next four questions are for you and her to tackle as a team. Set aside some time to sit down and answer them together. And again, you can go to better husband questions.com to download A PDF with these questions.

So don't feel like you have to memorize them or write them down right now.

So here we go. Number one. What are three things we're grateful for in our marriage right now? And how can we build on those in 2025? Start with the positives. Gratitude sets the tone for constructive and hopeful conversations about what yet needs to be done. It's not about how bad things are and how everything needs to change.

Take a moment to really reflect on the good things from this year.

Number two, what shared goals or dreams do we want to pursue together in 2025? This could be a big trip, could be financial goals, or even something small but meaningful, like more regular date nights, more time together, more connection. What does that look like for each of you, and how can you both give that to each other?

Number three, how can we improve how we handle conflict and communicate better? And be honest here about where you each struggle and share that with each other. Is it getting defensive? Is it avoiding hard conversations? This is your chance to address it as a team. And here's a very important part of this.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell each other what the other person needs to do. This is about self reflection and looking at the needs of the marriage. You can listen to all sorts of relationship podcasts or read the books and communication and conflict resolution is a huge part of it. And so this is a really important question.

Find out what you need for each other and how to give that to each other.

And lastly, number four, what areas of our marriage need the most attention right now? And how will we work as a team to address them? This question is about being proactive. It's about identifying the weak spots and creating a plan to strengthen them together. It's not about just focusing on what's not working and not knowing what to do about it, but really sit down and this is your opportunity to put the pieces in place to improve what you're working on.

This is prioritizing the importance of all the things that you want. What is the most important right now?

The Importance of Visioning in Marriage

Now, you might be wondering why does answering these questions even really matter? Well, let me tell you why. Most people live reactively in their marriages, waiting for a problem to arise before taking any action. But visioning and working together is a proactive act of intention. It's about planning for connection and making choices that serve the marriage, not just yourself.

When you're intentional about your relationship, you're building a foundation for deeper intimacy and fulfillment. This will improve everything because you're putting a foot forward in the direction that you want to go. Visioning isn't just about setting goals, it's about also creating hope, realizing that there is something to look forward to.

When you and your wife align on what you want your marriage to become, you create that shared sense of purpose. So that even when challenges arise, that vision gives you something to fight for together. You can always return to these answers and know what you need to do in the moment.

Conclusion: Take Action for a Better 2025

As we head into 2025, here's the big question. Will you drift into the new year hoping that things are going to improve, or will you take the reins and create the marriage you've always wanted? Now, I know that if you're listening to my voice right now, you have a desire to make a better marriage, to be a better husband, to improve things, to work on things.

Answering these questions will give you that North Star of where you're going and even how to get there. Take time to answer these questions on your own and then sit down with your wife and go through them together. This simple act of visioning can really set the tone for a year that's going to be monumental and instrumental in making the marriage that you both want to have.

Remember, your marriage is always a work in progress and the progress is worth the effort. Go to betterhusbandquestions. com, download the PDF and put in the work to create the marriage you want in 2025.

2024 has been a big year for me. It's been a big year for my marriage. It's been a big year for Better Husband and hopefully it's been a big year for you because you've made the decision to be here and take the steps that you need to improve the life that you want, the marriage that you want, the person that you want to be, and maybe it's also being a role model for your kids or just the people who you love.

So, thank you for joining me on Better Husband. I'm Angelo Santiago, and I'll see you on the next one.